I never knew I would have this feeling of pain and sorrow. But I am. It is a feeling I don’t want to feel; it is a feeling that I wouldn’t want anyone to feel. Especially, not those I love very dearly. I wish you hadn’t parted away from us but you did, and it is something that I wasn’t able to avoid. Only you know why you did it, and I will never judge or condemn you for that. There are many questions but not one single answer. They say the ones who leave, leave with only their last sigh and the ones who stay with a broken heart and a million tears to cry. And I only wonder if you left with us in mind? I wonder if you thought of your lovely mother, my mother; of your dear father, my father; of your sisters, my sisters; of your nieces and nephews, my nieces and nephews; of your grandmothers my grandmothers; of your only brother— me.
Only you have the answers to the questions I have. Answers that might not be answered any time soon. You lived a life without boundaries, a life witho
ut fear. You weren’t afraid to take risks, you just weren’t afraid of anything. You were the opposite of me. You were fearless and always with an attitude towards life. Truth is, that you are the bravest person I have ever known.
You left this world of suffering for one where no one will judge you for what you do or for who you are. No one looks down at you because you are all the same.You would say that we were like animals: we die and we don’t even know were we really go. It’s like getting a nonstop flight ticket around the world. Only you know what it’s like where you are, and I hope you are living a life of fulfillment. A life that is good for you. They say that the one above only takes those individuals who are greater than the ones down here. And believe it or not, you are greater than all of us.
I am jealous. You have left us in this world of misery. And it is true that…Poor of us who stay because those who leave, go with an immense happiness and fulfillment. Perhaps not because they lived a life of enjoyment: but because they are not suffering in this world of negativity and pessimism.
I know I will never be able to fully express myself because there are not enough words that can describe the way I feel. It is a feeling of emptiness. I cannot describe it because the words cannot come out. I know I will always remember you as the brother I would play with. The one I built houses with, tell stories, eat marshmallows, and just be the brothers that we are and always will be. It is hard to let go when the memories invade my mind and everyday I remember of everything w
e did together. It is not easy, no one said it would be. It is hard to say that we must move on when we all know that we are missing a wheel to our family. And you are a wheel without replacement. We grew up together like two brothers, two friends because we knew that we only had each other. However, in the way we took different paths and distanced ourselves. But those two paths are not parallel and they will cross once again and we will be together: to be the brothers that we should have always been. As an older brother I always looked after you; now I ask for you to be my little big brother and look after all of us.
When I was on my way home, I looked down and everything looked so small, and I asked myself, “ I wonder if Brayan sees us all like that.” But then I said, “No he doesn’t because he’s with us. He can only see the ones who insulted and humiliated him small and down; he would never look at us down because we are family and family always stays together.” Then as the plane crossed the Mar de Cortez, I saw the immense sea and I said to myself: “that’s how our love for Brayan is: infinite and immense as the blue water that runs through the rivers into the sea.” And those rivers that flow to the sea are the open veins of our mother and father who were left with a broken heart.
I can write forever and I will never find the words to describe how I feel. It is hard, but I have to take some of the courage you had to confront the world and be strong for our parents. No body is eternal in this world and we will see each other sooner or later.
Cambio con Causa 
